I'm happy when I'm playing with friends and strangers, a.k.a. new friends, and while I deeply enjoy all of us being ambitious about our playing, more important by far to me is sharing good feelings and building a musical community that feels like family.
Having said that, I empathize very much with musicians who observe and decry certain repeated sins and am thrilled when members of our group undertake to cleanse themselves of these iniquities. Here are my top 10 jam infractions:
Sneak Attack
Problem: Leader starts playing the song without ensuring other musicians know the song or even key.
Solution: Call the song by name and BY KEY while making as much eye contact as possible with ALL the musicians who'll be playing.
Blare Unaware
Problem: Inattentive rhythm players play so loudly they drown out the lead player.
Solution:
Watch and listen to the breaks rather than just staring down at your
own instrument, and moderate your volume to accommodate the volume of each solo break player.
Phase Shift
Problem: Leader starts vocal part early or late, not in keeping with the usual non-crooked way of playing the song.
Solution:
Although quick musicians will often pick up on this and follow, to avoid losing some players, either
give them advance notice that you're doing it crooked, or straighten it
out.
Anything You Can Play I Can Play Slower
Problem: You start your solo break slow and get even slower.
Solution: Play strong and consistent rhythm during the solo break before yours and follow through with the rhythm and tempo as you start and continue your break. Playing with a metronome when woodshedding helps.
Walk and Chew Gum at the Same Time?
Problem: As soon as you start singing, you slow down your playing.
Solution: Practice playing and singing simultaneously with a metronome.
From Here to Eternity
Problem: Calling 20+ full breaks around the whole room, resulting in a 15-minute song with lost focus and poor momentum, standing in the way of 2 or 3 other songs that could have been called.
Solution: Call only a limited number of breaks and/or split the breaks carefully, in any case aiming to keep each song to under 5 minutes unless it's so hot it can't be stopped.
It's Good To Be The King
Problem: Leader
starts the post-breaks verse in a random moment, completely
disrespecting the current rhythm, song pattern, and all the other
musicians in the room, presuming that the leader can fracture the rhythm
at will and destroy the feel of the song without severe karmic
consequences.
Solution: Respect the rhythm. Start the verse in rhythm with the current playing, or wait another cycle to get it right.
Not With A Bang, But With A Whimper
Problem: Leader ends song without telling anyone.
Solution: With heavy all around eye contact and possibly vocal announcement, lift your leg like Marmaduke at a fire hydrant.
"Fascinating" Rhythm
Problem: Thinking a metronome is an androgynous lawn ornament, resulting in inconsistent rhythms.
Solution: Practice with a metronome.
Unintended Alienation
Problem: Critical players offer suggestions that some take as insulting rather than constructive.
Solution: Do offer criticism, but strive to make it sensitive and encouraging - not everyone has equally thick skin.